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life seems to come to a standstill these few days.

it will be the last day with him.

i don't know if i will be strong enough not to cry tomorrow. i don't know what words of comfort to say to them when i don't know how to comfort myself. i don't know if i should say goodbye, or just feel him leaving silently.

i don't know what comes tomorrow, and i don't know if i can stand the emotions.

but i do believe, that he is already in a better place, free of pain and burden.

i hate saying goodbyes, but a part of him is already in my memory.

i won't forget that i had such a doting gong.

i won't forget that the most endearing quality about him is his wide toothy grin, and how he would always pat my head when i was younger.

please give me some strength tomorrow. i don't want to crumble, cos i know he wouldn't want us to be sad.

some things perhaps are meant to turn out in a way least expected.

i won't have a cny next year, but it's okay. i can do without the celebrations.

but knowing that i will never, never get to see him, or hear his voice, or smile at him,

my heart does ache a little.

i'll cherish today and do whatever i can for him for the last time.

i'll be strong tomorrow.