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OC is actually a good place to chill.

:)

never talked about it. don't want to be reminded. but seeing him there, it felt weird. don't log in at all, but itchy finger. thank god, nothing happened. won't log in again.

but god, can i let out.

i mean if people talk about him, it's fine. i'm just a 3rd party then. but speaking to him personally is another thing. don't think it's time yet though sometimes do wonder how he's doing. i thank god that i have this to rant. feels like i'm talking to god sometimes.

i sincerely hope he's happier now. after all it felt as though there's too much unhappiness. all is history. just hope that he's happier now. like really happy.

if he found his true happiness, i'll wish him all the best. i doubt i can say the words outright. i'll be happy for him still. sounds dumb but it's the only decent thing. really. true love is hard to find and if he found his, good for him.

he didn't need to know how much pain i went through by walking out. well, does it matter to him anyway. he could have thought i had things easily. walking out of a r/s which you're still committed to isn't easy. not sure if he ever felt committed. but i had to convince myself that it's the best for us and for him.

it didn't matter if it hurts so bad. at least one of us will be happier.

i really hope he's happy now. at least it proves my decision is right, and all the heartache is worth it. but i think he is. he can finally pursue her or whoever it was in his heart. somehow could tell he was thinking about someone. it was never about me, isn't it.

we were wrong right from the start. changes i made didn't matter. it was, never did, about me.

it was all about her or whoever it was. i get it.

it's okay yvonne, it's better to know now than never to know the truth at all.

at least you've loved him genuinely before. it's enough.

save your love for someone who loves you genuinely too.