Sunday, January 29, 2012

130

this is bad. keep having bad dreams about it. haven't even seen the sch yet, i'm having bad feelings. wtf. its 2 years i'm talking about. can i just chill?!

everyone tells me the same stuff. it's a good school.
wait, if you're really good, do you even think about the status of the sch?! you can go anywhere. i don't care if it's elite or what. i don't belong to this class, how am i supposed to relate to the children there?

i don't wanna be there. but do i have a choice?

guess the only comfort i get is that hey, if god decides to give me this challenge, there must be a freaking good reason. perhaps, he over estimated my ability, or think that i'm made of iron.
For god's sake! i'm made of glass. tempered glass only. wtf. i had enough of proving myself.
i seriously think he's playing a joke on me.

so i tell myself,
if i can get over this challenge, i'd have proven, that really, i can get through anything.
nothing can get any worse than this, and nothing can possibly break me.
i am strong. and i am darn good.
right god, this is what you want me to say isn't it?
that perhaps, you knew, that i won't ever give in no matter what.
the more you think i will crumble, the more i'd prove you wrong.

but i'm scared.
fucking scared. i hope i won't die.

No comments:

Post a Comment