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the battle hasn't begun, yet i'm already giving up. or rather, i feel myself losing hope, losing confidence, losing the will. this is too much of a challenge. perhaps, god gave me this challenge cos he thinks that i'm capable enough.

god, oh god,

i don't believe you. this is too much. i'm done proving myself.

fuck. 2 years. this challenge is too much.

i'm done doing this. i'm done proving.

i don't understand you. i don't think you ever understood me too.

this isn't what i wished for.

i wonder, in the first place, are you even listening.